I’ve Just Pooped Myself!

Game, Complain, Repeat

Screenshot 2014-02-15 at 14.04.54“Do your insides feel cramped and congested by the retention of accumulated digestive foods? Are you incapable of extruding colonic waste with out the facilitating aid of medicinal purgatives? Then put down your saline or lubricant laxative *slaps hand* and try a new, digitalized colonic irrigation called Outlast. This new, non-pharmaceutical compound preserves your modesty by allowing the consumer to simply defecate almost immediately without the embarrassing visitation of doctoral consultancy or committal to leave your games console. Developed by Red Barrels, Outlast simply stimulates your cognitive perception of reality by inducing fear into your cognition, which is then transferred from your brain to your rectum that interprets this as an allergen, distilling this anomaly and purging the resulting fear into a mailable faecal matter and excreted with ease. Simply Download, play, scream and defecate; it couldn’t be simpler.” Now ordinarily I wouldn’t begin an article by depicting the progression…

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